I'm Not in the Mood
We have just begun the Jewish month of Elul (today is day #3) and in a few weeks time we will celebrate Rosh Hashanah and usher in a New Year.
If you’ve been reading this column regularly then you’ll already know that this month of Elul is one of opportunity; a time when G‑d is more accessible and palpable than any other time of the year. And as such during the next few weeks, our tradition advises us to advantage of this auspicious month and endeavor to reignite and strengthen our relationship with G‑d and our Jewish roots. This month is a time when we honestly reflect on this year gone by. "Where have I excelled? What do I need to improve? Who do I need to make amends with? Who have I not yet forgiven?" etc.
But what happens if we’re just "not in the mood"? What do we do when we simply lack the motivation, the willingness, or desire to take the first steps towards real change?
Though the question might sound psychologically complex, Judaism’s answer is straight forward (though not always easy to implement).
This short introduction will help:
Interestingly, the Torah, the 613 mitzvahs, and Judaism as a whole are primarily ‘action based’. In other words, G‑d tells us to focus on 'doing it'. Our understanding, feelings, and emotions – tough important - are all secondary to the act itself. If one 'helps the little old lady cross the street', one has done the mitzvah in its entirety, whether or not one’s intent was noble, self-serving, or non-existent.
And this is the approach we need to take when we’re "not in the mood" to improve in the month of Elul.
When we’ve lost the spark of enthusiasm and our understanding and feelings fail to get us excited, the only part of us that remains 'sane' is our innate notion that we must do that which is right anyway. So we keep going and "force" ourselves to fight apathy and to act. We push ourselves to do something positive despite our feelings.
Now although this would appear far from ideal, the very opposite is true. When our behavior is a consequence of intellectual understanding or strong emotional feeling, it is not completely selfless. It is the "me" that understands and "me" that feels. Our ego is still there, albeit in a positive way. However, when we do something despite the absence of understanding, feeling, or emotion, there is no self-interest. It is being done solely because it is the right thing do to. It is driven purely by a commitment to goodness and moral behavior.
So if you lack the interest to get started on this year’s Elul improvement, you have just been given an opportunity: to do good just because it is good. This is the month of opportunity. Take the first leap, the rest will fall right into place!
I want to conclude by mentioning that this month is also a time when our requests and wishes for health, prosperity and nachas are answered more than any other month of the year. And so I convey my heartfelt wishes to you and your family than you be inscribed and sealed for a shana tova um’tuka – a good and sweet new year,
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Raleigh Resnick
