Change ...
The holy Baal Shem Tov taught us that everything we see and hear in life is meant to be taken as a lesson. This is most certainly true of the theme currently resounding throughout the United States – “Change”. In fact this month on the Jewish calendar is the month of “Change”. It is the month during which we scrutinize our deeds of the past year and commit to changing ourselves for the better. Allow me to therefore focus this article on this important theme: “Change”
Complacency is perhaps the strongest force that stands in the way of true growth. If we feel totally comfortable with who and where we are, there is no need to change. If we cannot recognize any deficiency in our personality, there will never be a necessity for behavior modification. If we are never guilty, we will be indifferent, apathetic and resistant to any improvement.
A critical ingredient, therefore, for personal growth and real change, is an intense feeling of discomfort. The more uncomfortable we are with our level of performance the more we are driven to change. The more we regret having hurt the feelings of another, the harder we will work to make up. The more remorse we have for our transgressions, the deeper our resolve to improve will be. If we are really unhappy with our outbursts of anger and aggression, we will have a strong desire to control ourselves. A healthy dose of guilt is not only helpful but critical for personal development.
But guilt in its extreme can be very destructive and debilitating, preventing us from moving forward. Intense guilt can affect our performance, leaving us with depression, shame and despair. It can damage our feelings of self worth, convincing us that we are intrinsically evil. We can start to believe that we are unable to change and that any attempt to improve will be unsuccessful.
The test to know if our feelings of guilt are beneficial or destructive is to ask a simple question: Who is in control? Are we in control of our guilt or does it control us? Controlling guilt means having the ability to allow a healthy dose of remorse to enter our minds and hearts - enough to create a real desire to rectify and improve.
However, as soon as we are committed to change we need to dismiss the guilt and move on with confidence and strength. We move forward with the conviction and belief that G‑d always welcomes our positive deeds no matter how much we may have failed in the past. We recognize that our soul has infinite good that can always be accessed and used to reconnect and rectify that which needs fixing.
So let’s get started on some real personal change. Regardless of which party you affiliate with, we all need to focus on bettering our actions and deeds. And in this merit may G‑d grant us all a happy and healthy sweet new year.
Let’s do a mitzvah today!
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Raleigh Resnick
